I am ANGRY!

I don't have time for this as I am trying to get us all ready to go out of town for a few days, but I can't find an effective way to channel my feelings right now, so I'm going to blog...feel free to take a pass.

I am ANGRY at cancer. I am angry that SO many people die of cancer of some kind. I am angry anew each time someone dies of cancer for all of those who died before them of the stupid disease. I keep a poem on my desk to look at when I think of my friends and loved ones who have died of cancer. It hasn't been out for a while; I had to dig under taxes, church stuff, etc. It says this:

Cancer is so limited

Cancer is limited
It cannot cripple love,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot eat away peace,
It cannot destroy confidence,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot shut out memories,
It cannot silence courage,
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot reduce eternal life,
It cannot quench the Spirit,

It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection.

I just want to say that I hate it. I hate that it takes away lives of good people that I miss. It sickens me all the people who have been affected by it.

I have pretty bad allergies, so I go to see my Allergist (We all affectionately call it The Allergy Shop, I don't know why) at least once, sometimes twice a week to get two shots. Most of the time I've been getting my shots, they're from a nurse named Barb Thomas. She is the sweetest lady (of course, none of the mean people die of cancer). She knows each of our children, goes really out of her way to find out little facts about them and learn the best way they can do hand shakes and their favorite suckers and how they're doing in school. She always greets all of us by name and takes the time to teach them little lessons and remark to the kids how well-behaved they are. Well, a few years ago, she was gone for a long time, like 6 months. We had just gotten to know her, but I just assumed she had gotten a new job. Then she was back after about 6 months. We were so happy to see her. She decided to tell us about her journey. She had brain cancer and had surgery and chemo, etc. She was in remission! We were so happy for her and appreciated her more now that she was back and so caring and kind always. A little less than a year ago, she told me the cancer was back and that she was going to fight it with drugs and things, but that she wasn't going to go through chemo or surgery again because it was inoperable. I have watched her since, always worried if her face was pale or she seemed tired. She was always sweet Barb, so thoughtful and kind. Well, I seemed to have been missing her the past 3 times in, so I was worried and all prepared to ask today if she wasn't there, but I was sure she WOULD be there because Thursday was her day to work always. Well she wasn't there and there was a letter posted about her, that she's gone to U of M and is there now till the end. It just saddens me so much. I know this is just the way her life was supposed to be, but I think of her family and how many times she told us about her son in college and her favorite peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and how truly kind she always was, and it makes me sad.

Her dying reminds me of my dear cousin Ann who died of cancer this time of year a few years ago. I just want it to stop! Ann was the sweetest and most beautiful girl and cousin you would ever know. She is one of only 4 cousins on my Dad's side of the family and even though they live in Texas, we are all pretty close. I miss her so. I think of her so often. I count myself so blessed to have known her.

Thank you for letting me get my feelings out (like you had a choice) and have a good cry. Prayers for Barb would be much appreciated. Thanks.